You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
