i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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