Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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