It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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