and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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