I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
