I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
