Dual....:-)
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
