Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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