Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
