is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
