Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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