What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
