I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
