hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
