It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize