i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize