does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
