woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
