Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
