I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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