my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You've changed since you got that strap on
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
