My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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