when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
