Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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