Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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