well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize