she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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