Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
