i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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