She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
