we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize