If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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