I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she smelled like a LAN party
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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