stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
