i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
