Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A+ Viking dick
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
