did you get engaged???
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
