Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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