Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
