just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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