Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
