she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
