remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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