god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
