apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
