you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
