R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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