you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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