This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
