Nicole vs. Life
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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