Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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