I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This is the high leading the old right now
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
