she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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