every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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