Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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