p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
