She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
