Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
