Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
