ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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