and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
