I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
